(Photo taken by me in Iceland. Copyright Brighton Girl Problems, all rights reserved)
Today’s blog post was meant to be a Primark Haul, but I’m still having editing issues and I didn’t want to leave you another day without a post, so I thought I’d do something a bit different instead.
I’ve been reflecting a lot recently on getting older, and learning things and changing as a person, which we all do naturally as we grow up.
When I was younger, I let everyone walk all over me all the time because that was the type of person I was. I got bullied for 3 years at school by the same girl and I never once stood up for myself, not once.
I let everyone say and do what they wanted to me, because I was so petrified of confrontation, of being hurt and not having any friends.
As I’ve got older, and as I entered my twenties, the worries of what other people thought of me, and how they would treat me if I dared stand up for myself slowly faded away.
When I was younger, I had no self worth whatsoever, hence why I let people get away with so much shit. Having created something as wonderful as Brighton Girl Problems, my very own baby, little business and pride and joy, helped my confidence a lot, partly due to the fact I had to start going to meetings, negotiating contracts etc, and also because I’d finally done something worthwhile and I stopped believing the awful things that I had been told about myself.
I know that my followers are of all ages, but most are around 16-25, some younger, some older; and I want to say to my younger followers, or even older ones who are experiencing the same things, that it will get better, and as you get older you slowly stop putting up with the shit you did when you were younger.
I’ve learnt that just because one person doesn’t like you, or has a certain opinion of you, it doesn’t mean everyone does, and some people just don’t understand you, and that’s okay, because they’re not you.
Experiencing severe anxiety throughout my teenage years and even still now, it loses you a lot of friends, because people think you’re being antisocial for not wanting to go out and wanting to stay indoors, they think you’re not making an effort and not a good friend. And I used to worry endlessly about this, about not having friends because of my anxiety of going out, and the fact they’d all get bored of making an effort.
I have realised that the friends who are worth it, and true friends, will understand and won’t judge you, they will support you and not make you feel worried at explaining yourself. They won’t even make you explain yourself.
People always used to tell me that as you get older, your circle of friends shrinks to only a few important ones, and that’s very true. The people that you have time for will shrink to only the important people, and that is absolutely fine.
I have also learnt that my parents are, and always will be, the most important people in my life.
When you’re younger, you think that your parents are doing everything possible to ruin your life and stop you having fun and that they just want to make you have the worst possible time – but they don’t, they just want to protect you and keep you safe and help you be the best possible person you can be.
I done some stupid shit as a teenager, and my parents getting angry and grounding me and having a go at me made me think that they were just out to ruin everything good in my life – but actually it was just because I was a silly little girl who thought I knew everything about the world and thought I was invincible, but actually I had no clue what I was doing.
When you fall out with friends, break up with partners, whatever it is that happens, your parents will be there for you. Mine are my biggest critics and my biggest supporters at the same time. I have learnt over the years that these 2 people are irreplaceable and to never, ever take them for granted.
I have learnt to banish toxic people; your happiness needs to be your number one priority and you need to stop putting it second. I have put myself second so many times over, and I refuse to do it anymore. People who make you feel bad about yourself don’t deserve a place in your life; there are people out there, friends or lovers or whatever they are, that will love you for exactly who and what you are, and would never expect you to change.
Growing up isn’t easy, and you have to make mistakes in order to learn the lessons that they come with. Some of you may be younger than me, the same age, or older, but however old you are, whatever stage in your life you are at, you will have learnt some life lessons, and I wanted to share with you the ones I’ve learnt so far.
You deserve to be happy, and be respected, and valued. I hope that whoever you are, you have people in your life who give you all 3 of those things and more.
This is a bit of a rambling, late night blog post, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway.
All my love BGP xx