Dear BGP | ”I’m Struggling With My Body Image”

”Dear BGP,

I really struggle with body image and I am also quite inexperienced in relationships and intimate/in the bedroom stuff with men. Therefore, more often than not I find myself worrying and panicking about what a new guy I’m seeing may think of me. I get quite scared about being with a guy who is more experienced in the bedroom department than me as I feel like I’m not good enough.

I was wondering if you have any advice on how to deal with this worry? I find it hard to get close to guys because I don’t want them to think differently of me because of my lack of experience. I also struggle with my body image and I was wondering if you have any tips of ways to feel more comfortable with your body? I find body confidence really hard because social media usually represents women as looking a certain way.

I am curvy and I also have rolls on my belly. I find it hard to love myself when there are constant images of a certain selection of women on social media.

If you have any advice or support I would be more than grateful.”

Hi,

I think anyone worth being with would not care at all if you’re less ‘experienced’ than them. No ones experiences will be exactly the same, whether that’s in general life or sexually.

If you meet someone who doesn’t want to be with you or makes you feel bad about yourself, experiences or body, then you don’t want to be with them anyway.

The right person will make you feel comfortable and you’ll become more experienced by being with them.

Body confidence is such a hard thing, for women especially, because we are made to feel like we have to look a certain way to be ‘beautiful’ or ‘sexy’. However, the things people post on social media are posed and preened, tweaked, edited, filtered, sometimes photoshopped. The vast majority of people have rolls, love handles and muffin tops, dimples and stretch marks.

Men can be idiots sometimes but I think most of them realise that the models they see online and on TV are filtered and edited, and if they do really look exactly like that, then that’s very rare. Most women don’t have perfectly toned stomachs, legs and arms, with no imperfections or wobbles. I used to be so conscious of the fact I had small boobs but now I don’t care at all. The right man will make you feel like that, for definite.

You’re more than good enough an shouldn’t waste time with anyone who makes you feel like you’re not, but at the same time, try not to push people away or make yourself feel like you’re not good enough just because you don’t have a lot of confidence at the moment. You don’t want to push away the right person who could do wonders for your confidence levels, just because you’re worried you’re not good enough and they’re judging you, because I’m absolutely sure that they’re not, and if they are, they’re bloody immature and will soon realise that it is highly unlikely they’ll ever meet a girl who’s like a gymnast/pornstar in the bedroom with a perfect, flawless body!

All my love BGP xx

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