Hi everyone, I hope you’re all well.
I’ve said it on Twitter and Instagram, so you’re probably all sick of hearing it by now, but I’m going through a time where everything is shit and awful and I hate it and every single day it’s a struggle to even get out of bed and all I wanna do is just have a big old gulp of Night Nurse and sleep through the entire day.
My blog is somewhere I document my life; I’ve shared mental health journeys, my abortion, break ups, new relationships, body issues, and everything else. On social media I’ve done the same for 4 years, and I feel like we are all a kind of weird family, and you all know a lot about me even though I don’t show my face.
I don’t want to not share things, because they’re not happy times, and they might not make for the most exciting reads. I want to just write what’s going on, when it’s going on, because it’s there for any of you to read whenever you may need it, and for me as well.
I follow so many of those Instagram accounts that basically follow the life of a beautiful, tanned, lithe girl with legs up to her armpits, flawless skin, amazing hair that looks great even when she’s just come out of the sea (and by sea, I mean some crystal clear ocean in Bali), who posts inspirational quotes about wanderlust and seem to have no worries in life. I know that’s not true, and of course these girls have their own stresses and worries and problems, but sometimes when you see such perfect lives splashes about online, and you’re currently laying in bed in saggy pyjama bottoms, eating an Indian takeaway, watching your 5th hour of Netflix and crying, you can feel a bit fucking shit about yourself, and your life as a whole.
I suppose, I just wanted to say that it’s okay to feel shit, and be upset and down and confused about life, and want to spend all day in bed. It’s okay to literally do nothing else other than click ‘Play next episode’ and spoon feed yourself ice cream, because you just need a day of comforting yourself when everything else has gone to shit.
I think we are all too hard on ourselves sometimes, especially for crying. Sometimes I’ll have a big old crying session and feel so bad after and think I’m pathetic and weak, when actually a good old cry can make you feel so much better sometimes. Also, you can’t be expected to hold your emotions in and bottle it all up.
If you’re going through something bad or difficult right now, keep your chin up and keep on pushing through. We can all do it, it’s not easy but it’ll be worth it, as we will all look back one day and either not remember these hard times, or be glad we went through them as they honestly do make you better and stronger.
Feeling like life hasn’t given you a break for years is completely normal, we all feel like it sometimes, but they do say ‘when it rains it pours’, which is very true. I’m trying to be positive at the moment, but it can be really difficult, and sometimes you just want to be a ball of negativity, and see the worst in everything so that at least you won’t be disappointed.
We are all in this together and things will get better, we just have to be patient and keep on going.
All my love BGP xx