Hi everyone, I hope you’re all well.
Today is my last post of 2017; it’s one where I’m going to tell you about my year, the highs and the lows.
It has been a weird year for me, to say the least. Starting off not so great, brilliant in the middle, and ending weirdly, and not so greatly.
The start of 2017 was filled with quite a lot of stress for me, due to a manner of things, and then it kind of picked itself up.
My blog had the best year it’s ever had, working with a number of brands I’ve loved and used for years; Bodyform, Charlotte Tilbury, Ultimo, and lots more that I’m so proud to have worked with. That’s not braggy, I’m just so pleased about that.
I went on holiday with 2 of my best friends, and we had the best time. We partied till nearly 7am, then walked barefoot to McDonalds, sunbathed with cocktails, and just generally had such a brilliant time. It was well needed, and a holiday I’ll never forget.
Health wise, my anxiety was quite good for most of the year, but towards the end was pretty bad, for reasons I’ll get into later.
I had my appendix out in August, which was a stressful experience and involved a very painful recovery, and was a very unexpected turn of events.
Probably what most of you who follow me online want to know, because I’ve been harping on about it for ages, is why after the Summer and towards the end of the year I started saying I was going through a tough time.
Myself and my boyfriend (well, ex boyfriend now), split up unfortunately. It was pretty much a case of wanting different things, and it was surprisingly a really difficult time.
I say surprisingly; I went through such heartache with a previous relationship, that was longer than this one, so I thought I’d kind of got my ‘really emotionally painful’ breakup that we all go through, out of the way.
They were different kinds of breakups, and this one was also very hard. It happened at a time where my health anxiety was really bad, which just made it even worse, and also I knew Christmas was going to be spent on my own once again. I just can’t seem to keep a boyfriend during the festive season lol.
I say on my own, obviously I was with my family. It would be nice to actually spend it with a boy (a man, whatever; I don’t mean a child, I mean a grown man, I just still call men ‘boys’, because let’s face it, they are) one year. Bring someone to the Family Christmas, so that I’m not the one guzzling prosecco on my own, whilst all my cousins are cosied up with their respective partners, exchanging sweet, well thought out, romantic gifts.
I’ve had a boyfriend at Christmas before, but never spent the actual 25th with one.
Anyway, I’m going off track as per, and telling you my life story.
So yeah, that was shit. Really shit, obviously, because when you love someone it is always going to be hard, and it’s like your entire routine suddenly changes, and Sunday nights in together aren’t Sunday nights in together anymore, because you don’t have that person around.
I’m fine, I really am. I was lucky to have loads of great people around me, and I’ve kept busy and stuff, so yeah. Some of the great people I had around me was actually all of you lot, sending lovely messages and tweets and everything, which I appreciate so much, so thank you to everyone for being so kind. It really does mean a lot!
Even as I’m writing this, my anxiety is quite bad. It’s pretty much solely health anxiety, and it gets really bad in the evenings. I hate it because I thought I was past the worst of it in my life, but I don’t think I am. I’m looking into holistic retreats and things at the moment, because I need to get away, really badly, and not just on a city break where it’s loud and busy; I need to completely and utterly just let go of everything and get away.
2017…it’s been a weird one. It’s had amazing moments, and it’s had truly terrible moments. There’s been a hell of a lot of tears, some happy ones, but a lot of sad ones too.
In all honesty, I am so happy to wave goodbye to 2017. It’s served me heartbreak, a bad time with my mental health, and a shit load of stress. I entered 2017 happily in a relationship, looking forward to the year ahead. I enter 2018 single, and looking forward to the year ahead more than I ever have before.
I want to kick this shitty anxiety as best I can, I want to eat a bit healthier, I want to put all my efforts into my blog, and I want to spend time with people who matter. I also want to stop being so tolerant of bad behaviour; when someone shows me they don’t care in 2018, I’m going to believe them the first time.
This hasn’t been the happiest yearly round up, so I apologise, but I hope to bring a lot more positivity to you all in 2018.
Thank you all for sticking around for another year; my blog turned 4 in early December, and nothing I do would be possible without any of you.
You’re my biggest supporters, and I’m so grateful for you all.
As always, and for the last time in 2017…
All my love BGP xx