I hope you’re all well.
Today I wanted to share with you all how I am planning to de-stress the hell out of my life in 2018.
In 2017, I thought I had to do everything all at once. I saw everyone in Ibiza, Dubai, Australia, Bali – amazing, exotic places. People were partying at festivals, dressed up at Coachella, posting videos at pool parties in Marbella – basically, people were having incredible times, doing so many fun things, and hats off to them it’s great – but it left me, and probably a lot of other people, feeling like we had a lot of catching up to do.
I did go on holiday last year – I had a few weekend breaks within the UK, I went to Malaga on my first ever blogging trip, and then I went to Tenerife with my friends. It was all brilliant, and I’m so happy I was able to do that – however I kept looking at everyone elses lives, particularly bloggers and YouTubers, who seemed to be jetting off all the time, and when they were in the UK, always out and about doing these brilliant things, and I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. That sounds so stupid, I know I am so lucky to even go on holiday, but I just mean I was so guilty of comparing my life constantly.
Also, I let myself get so stressed about relationships, friendships, and general life. I literally made myself ill from working myself up over things, and blamed myself for every single thing that went the slightest bit wrong in my life. I desperately tried to make people in my life like me and love me, when actually, I should’ve just not cared, because if it doesn’t come naturally to someone, why waste time worrying about it?
In 2018, I am stopping all that. I am going to stop comparing my life to other peoples; I want to go on fun holidays, yes, but I also want to go to wellness retreats, and go on spa breaks, and just chill the fuck out to be honest.
I am going to have bubble baths, read so many books, watch my favourite films and series over and over again simply because they make me bloody happy, and do things that feel comforting to me.
I’m not going to force anyone to be in my life; if they don’t want to be, then that’s fine by me; my life is only for people who actually want to be in it, and put the same amount of effort in.
I am not going to stress about pointless things, like whether I’m enough for someone, or if ordering chips as a side is going to drastically change how I look and make me unattractive to the entire male species.
I’m going to deal with the shit storm that is my health anxiety once and for all, and my general mental health, and I’m going to make sure that I have no more sleepless nights over it. It needs to go.
2018 is going to be for putting all my efforts into the things that matter; my loved ones, my blog, my hobbies, my mental and physical health. I am not begging people to stay in my life anymore. I am not going to try and convince people of my worth, and I am certainly not going to allow myself to become physically unwell due to stress brought on by not feeling good enough, and let my anxiety take a huge toll because of that.
Part and parcel of me de-stressing is going to be not taking shit anymore. I’ve taken shit from people for so long; let myself be spoken to like I’m nothing, let people treat me however they want, be picked up and put down freely, be treated like an option, allow people to just treat me with utter disregard. It’s caused me so much stress, and I’m not doing it anymore.
2018 is going to be me being firm and fair; putting my foot down when someone thinks that they can treat me badly. They can’t. No one can treat anyone like that, it’s just not right.
I will make time for the people I love and who love me back, and do things that make me happy. I’m not moulding myself to fit someone elses idea of what I should be like anymore. This is who I am; if you don’t like it, there’s the door.
I like books and films and TV series that aren’t particularly serious; I love makeup and clothes and hair and skincare; I love food; I love going out partying but I equally like staying in my pyjamas, in bed, with a good series on or an episode of Come Dine With Me and a takeaway curry. I love writing, and I’ll always fake tan, even if it does stain the bed sheets. Sometimes I’m loud and brash, other times I’m quiet and anxious. I will do anything for people that I care about, and sometimes I do give too much and that means I get hurt.
2018 is going to be me not apologising for who I am anymore, because quite frankly, I’m not sorry, and you shouldn’t be either.
I want to have the least stressful year of my life, full of happiness, good people and good health, and I hope you do too.
All my love BGP xx