1. MAC Lipsticks Are A Language – You can identify whether someone is wearing Diva or Rebel at a 6 mile distance. Oh and is that Coppering or Amber Lights on their eyes? Definitely Amber Lights. Your friend is looking for a light pink lipstick and you bring out a choice of Brave, Mehr and Crème Cup at a moments notice. You could talk in MAC all night with a fellow addict.
2. Highlighter Makes Your World Go Round – Nothing excites you more than seeing your fellow addicts on social media talking about a new highlighter that is so bright and gleaming and gold that it looks Rumpelstiltskin’s thread melted down onto someone’s face. You own about 70 different ones but you never get tired of buying new ones.
3. Money Equals New Makeup – Who cares that you’ve got a phone bill to pay and it’s your boyfriends birthday next week – Urban Decay has just dropped a new limited edition palette that will sell out in an hour. His birthday comes round every year. This palette is a one off. Soz.
4. YouTube Is Life – Tutorials, beauty hauls, first impressions – you spend a good 6 hours a day bulk watching YouTube. Oh how you love to see what your fave internet girls picked up from Sephora on their recent trip to the States. It actually makes you salivate a little bit.
5. You’ll Never Have Enough – Friends, family, partners, they just don’t get it. They seem to think that one red lipstick, one black eyeliner, one brown eyeshadow, that they’re all the same and you only need one of each. No. Just no. You need every single different type on the market. You do not care how similar they look, they are not the same. RUBY WOO AND RUSSIAN RED ARE NOT THE SAME I REPEAT NOT THE SAME.
6. You Are The Girl In The Club Toilets – If anyone needs eyebrow gel, eyelash glue, blusher, an eyeliner flick re done, some concealer for a spot, you’re their gal. You literally have half of Debenhams beauty counter in your clutch bag. It’s weighing you down but who cares?
7. People Don’t Get It – When you get the ‘you look so much better natural’ line – YAWN. Guess what, I don’t care! I want a purple smoky eye and chiselled cheek bones and fluttery fake lashes and I couldn’t give six and a half fucks what you think.
8. Eyeliner Is Stressful – One turns out Chanel, the other turns out market stall, end of discussion. It’s stressful, you need silence and peace and perfect lighting and a steady hand and somehow it still goes wrong.
9. The Transformation – Seeing yourself before, and then after – it’s like something from a fairytale. You end up just staring at yourself wondering how you, who get an E in Art, has created something so wonderful, so perfect, so flawless. You are a magical being.
10. The Undying Love – Makeup is the love of our life. A Naked palette won’t wake up one day and tell us it doesn’t love us anymore. A blusher will never break our heart. A Lancôme mascara will never go for someone younger and thinner. Makeup is bae. Forever.
All my love BGP xx