BLOGMAS Day Seven: 20 Things I’ve Learnt In My 20’s

amsterdam-4Hello everyone and welcome to Blogmas Day Seven – we are officially a week in, woo!

A slightly un-Christmas related blog post today, I’m afraid, but I thought you’d maybe get a bit sick of all the stocking filler, Christmas jumper talk, so I thought I’d go back to my roots and do a more chatty post.

Being in your 20’s is f*cking difficult; there’s pressure to have a career, have a partner, get engaged, get married, get a house, have children, at the same time as maintaining a brilliant social life and keeping up with your reading and fitness and spending time with your family; so much is expected of us, and so far I’ve learnt a lot during this period of my life, and I wanted to share it with you all.

1) It’s Okay To Have Rolls – Unfortunately I’m not a size 6 anymore, which I could get back down to if only I put down the garlic bread and cheesecake. However, I’ve beaten myself up for a very long time about having a diminishing thigh gap and a few rolls when I sit down, and I’ve recently learnt that well…I don’t give a f*ck. I can still squeeze myself into a size 8 (albeit I have to breathe in to the point of exhaustion) and food is BAE.

2) You Do NOT Need A Boyfriend (Or A Girlfriend) – I became single in my 20’s, and honestly, I’ve never been happier. I am focusing on my career, my tan, my skincare regime, and the fact that apparently prosecco has antioxidant properties and I’m just loving life after that little fact. I am so comfortable in my own skin, and I enjoy my own solitude. You don’t need anyone but yourself.

3) This Is The Best Looking I’ll Ever Be – I’ve been so hard on myself looks wise my whole life (not having huge boobs, being too skinny, then gaining weight, the vicious cycle has been endless, I tell you) – and recently I’ve realised that to be honest, I’m probably at my peak, or will be in the next few years. I’m single, therefore not slogging about in my chocolate and toothpaste stained jammies 24/7, I’m making an effort, my legs are reasonably un-hairy most of the time; I’m at my most attractive right now, probably because I’m bothering to pluck my eyebrows and fake tan 3 times a week, and I’m going to bloody well enjoy it. Not to say that you can’t be beautiful when you’re out of your 20’s, because you can, but I really am a lazy bitch when I’m in a relationship, so I’m taking my single period of my 20’s as hopefully my last single period and therefore my most attractive.

4) I Can Do Anything I Want – I don’t have kids, I’m not married, I have a career that I can take anywhere in the world. My life isn’t set in stone, and I can achieve absolutely anything I want to if I set my mind to it.

5) Men Are NOT The Be All & End All – They’re really bloody not. Really. They’re not. They come and go. Then a few come at once, and you decide you don’t like any of them, and then they all go and you can enjoy being single and having Thursday prosecco nights with your best friends. My stress levels have been down 89.9% since I’ve been single, seriously. When I was a lot younger, I thought having a partner in my life was everything, but now I realise that I am perfectly happy being alone, and if the right person comes along at the right time, then so be it.

6) I Can Look Exactly How I Want – Oh, this man thinks I look better with no makeup? That’s a shame, because I’m rocking a smoky eye and contoured to hell face and I’m working it. I honestly do not care what anyone thinks about what I wear, how I do my hair and makeup, and the amount of fake tan I have on. Could. Not. Give. A. Sh*t.

7) It’s My Money & I’ll Spend It On What The Hell I Like – People getting involved in my personal finances used to bother me, but now I don’t care. I’ve had people before comment on my blogs saying it’s ridiculous to spend that much on makeup, etc etc, but seeing as they’re not the ones earning that money and therefore it affects their lives 0.0%, I couldn’t really care less if they think I’m an idiot for spending £40 on an eyeshadow palette.

8) You Don’t Have To Have All Your Shit Together All The Time – You don’t need to have a five year plan and have arrangements for marriage, babies and a mortgage. It’s okay to be in limbo.

9) It’s Okay To Cry – We all need a good cry sometimes. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, at all, EVER.

10) Stop Damaging Your Hair – Years of bleaching and curling and straightening and God knows what else caught up with me, before I finally decided to stop treating my hair like how I treat my liver, and start bloody looking after the poor thing!

11) It’s Fine To Eat Cake For Breakfast – Start as you mean to go on and all that.

12) The Dating Pool Is…Well, More Of A Shallow, Muddy Puddle – It was a luxurious river, and now it’s far from it. Here’s to being single forever.

13) It’s Okay To Slap A Man For Touching Your Bum – I do not care if I got thrown out of a bar in Soho that cost £25 to get into, because I slapped a man who thought it was okay to grab my bum. Do not grab my bum, or anyone’s, ever, unless you are in a relationship with that person. You are a twat. Just no.

14) Family Are SO Important – They’re usually the ones who are there when everything else goes to shit. Love and respect them, always.

15) Comfy Knickers Are Necessary – You don’t need to wear lacy G strings all the time. They cause thrush and they’re not good when you’re on your period. Big, saggy, M&S knickers ALL the way.

16) I Don’t Care What I Look Like With No Makeup On – Like, I literally don’t, I know I have huge bags under my eyes and a spot on my chin, this is my morning face, I’m tired and I don’t care. Go away.

17) I Am NOT READY To Have A Baby – Thought I was. Turns out, I’m not. Too selfish for that. Maybe in the next decade.

18) Stop Being So Nice – I don’t mean be a bitch, at all. I mean stop being so nice to the people who have repeatedly NOT been nice to you. Stop crossing bloody oceans for people who won’t hop over a droplet of rain water for you.

19) Mental Health Is Important – Be nice to yourself. Physical and mental health are equally important. Without the other, the other fails. Don’t let toxic, idiotic people diminish your wellbeing and make you feel shit. You need to look after yourself.

20) Love Yourself – My entire life I’ve been filled with self loathing for a multitude of different reasons, but mainly because I’d come across a whole load of people who filled my head with nonsense and made me think I wasn’t good enough. My 20’s so far, my self confidence has slowly grown, and the past few months I have been so happy and full of self love. I respect myself enough to walk away from any situation that is negative or toxic to my well being, and I put myself and my needs first, which I’ve never done before.

Your 20’s is your time to learn that you are the only person you need. Your entire existence will be full of people who tell you that you’re not good enough, not pretty enough, skinny enough, clever enough, that you don’t have your sh*t together. It doesn’t matter what anyone says or does; if you love yourself, and are confident and happy in your own skin, no one and no words can harm you.

All my love BGP xx