(One of my first proper pairs of shoes, and lots of snaps of Baby BGP!)
Hi everyone, I hope you’re all well.
Today I wanted to share some baby snaps with you, and talk about some things I’d tell my younger self, if I could go back in time, and give Younger Me a few warnings and words of advice.
I like being able to share parts of my life with you, and I really enjoyed digging these old photos out – especially the second snap of me looking an absolute treat whilst fast asleep!
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this post, and make sure to tweet me @btongirlprobs what you would tell your younger self if you could go back.
Embrace The Way You Look
If there’s one shallow thing I would tell my 16 year old self, it would be to just embrace my physical appearance. My biggest stress at that age was that I was pencil thin and couldn’t put on weight for love or money; I thought I’d be straight up and down my whole life. Oh how wrong I was. Silly old me getting stressed about such a meaningless thing; I wish I could tell myself to enjoy it, because in years to come if you sniff a sausage roll you gain a stone and a half.
Ditch Shit Friends
When I was younger, I stayed friends with people for far longer than I should’ve done, simply because it just seemed easier to me to keep people in my life for longer than they deserved to. I wanted a simple life, and I thought that by staying friends with people who weren’t right for me, it would equal happiness. It did the opposite, and so I ended up unhappier for longer, by being friends with people who couldn’t give a flying fuck about me – I’d definitely tell Teenage Me to ditch ’em.
You Are Tough
I thought I was the weakest, most pitiful and pathetic specimen when I was at school. I was bullied day in day out, and because I was too scared to stand up for myself and just suffered in silence, I thought I was the lowest of the low, the most fragile and feeble person known to man, who wouldn’t say boo to a goose.
When I look back on it, I realise that actually, I was strong. I got out of bed, got ready and marched myself to school every single day despite the fact I knew what awaited me; a girl and her cronies who would tell me to commit suicide, shove me in the corridors, throw things at my head, maybe even beat me up again. Yet I still went, I didn’t run away from it (that’s not to say you’re weak if you do, at all). I took it on the chin and just dealt with it, I went to my lessons, I went to my prom, I sat my GCSE’s. I did it all, in fear admittedly, but I still did it. It makes me really, really sad that I put up with all that shit for years, and it makes me even sadder that I had such a low opinion of myself.
The only people who were weak were the bullies, and I wish I’d have realised that.
When They Show You Their True Colours – Believe Them!
Similar to ditching shit friends, I wish I could whisper in my younger self’s ear to believe what I see – when anyone, family, friends, boyfriends, show you that they’re not a very nice person…believe them the first time. Don’t hang around to find out for 14th or 15th time, like I have done many times in the past!
Do Not Bleach Your Bloody Hair!
Started bleaching my hair when I was about 15, and I regret it! Yes, I would’ve always done it eventually – but I wish I had prolonged the time before completely killing it! Of course I’d never of listened – I thought I knew everything at that age, and if anyone tried to tell me differently they were just trying to ‘ruin my life’. God, what a typical teenager I was.
Stop Doing Stupid Things
Now, we all need to make mistakes when we are young, and get drunk and have fun. I don’t regret standing outside an off licence trying to stop adults and get them to go in and buy us wine and beer and vodka, and then sitting in minus ten degrees in a park at midnight drinking it. Funnily enough, I don’t regret that! It’s silly, typical teenager stuff, yes, but it’s not as downright stupid as some of the stuff I did!
Honestly, I think I might write a post on some of the actual fucking ridiculous shit that I got myself into when I was younger and the amount of trouble I got in with my parents, but that’s definitely for another day! I would just generally love to give Younger Me a kick up the backside and tell myself to sort my shit out before I ended up dead.
Bin The Pink Denim Shorts
I had this pair of pink denim booty shorts that I literally lived in the Summer I was about 14. I’m all for booty shorts, I’m all for a bit of arse cheek showing in the Summer (all girls will know it’s genuinely a hard feat to find a pair of denim shorts that don’t expose a bit of bum) but honest to God, these shorts showed everything. I know that my vagina would’ve been on display many a time. They gave me thrush everytime I wore them because it was like I was wearing a really tight denim thong, and in the Summer…well, I don’t need to say anymore.
Buy A Foundation The Correct Shade
I think I thought I was Latino when I was about 13, or that foundation was ‘one shade fits all’ (it’s really not) because I was one orange girl back in the day. Obviously, blending wasn’t something I did either. A nice tide mark around the neck. Oooooh yeah. Sexy.
Having Small Boobs Is NOT An Issue
I spent my teenage years wearing 2 bras and chicken fillets every single day (I don’t recommend this. It gets very hot, and very sweaty, and sometimes someone knocks into you in public and it’s very humiliating because they’ve basically just walked into your chest which is meant to be soft and springy, but yours is rock solid and painful).
I was so ashamed of being a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee that it took over my life. Now, I honestly could not give less of a fuck. Like, I literally care more about what my ex boyfriend had for dinner last night, or Sussex Council’s plans for pavement renovation or the amount of calories in the chocolate bar I just ate (these are all things I give absolutely no fucks about).
I don’t have big boobs, I’m not a very big person, there’s more important things going on in the world like female genital mutilation and global warming, than worrying about the fact I’m a 32B and can’t really wear plunging tops without looking like a 12 year old boy. I’m over it.
I’m definitely not there with my self love and self confidence but I’m a lot better than I was when I was younger, and I wish I had started appreciating and respecting myself a long time ago.
When you’re a teenager, especially a teenage girl, unfortunately you usually hate yourself. You hate the way you look, your life, your body, the fact that you don’t have enough money to have a wild cosmopolitan life, and you just hate everything about yourself and your life because you’re fed an idea by the media that everything should be perfect and you and your life should be a certain way, and if it’s not that means you can’t possibly happy and if you are, well that’s weird! We are force fed this, and we eat it up at that age because we don’t know anything different, and in turn we end up begrudging our own lives.
I wish I could’ve started liking myself and who I am a bit sooner, because it would’ve made things a hell of a lot easier when I became an adult.
I can’t change anything that’s happened in the past, and although this is a ‘self reflection’ post and seems like I’m talking about everything I regret, I actually don’t regret anything. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and every single decision I’ve ever made has brought me to where I am now, and that I’m exactly where I should be, and I think that’s a good mind set to have.
I hope you enjoyed this post and I’ll speak to you all soon.
All my love BGP xx