*This post is written in collaboration with Scrumpies of Mayfair*
I hope you’re all well.
I’m sorry that I haven’t posted a new blog over the last week; I’m going through a shit time at the moment, like I’m sure many of you are as well, and I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything, let alone putting together a blog post. I don’t want to let anyone down, and actually writing is really therapeutic so I know I need to get back on the wagon.
Today, I’m talking about my experience with body confidence, and body issues.
Body image has been a funny old journey for me.
Growing up, I was always very, very thin. I was straight up and down, with no boobs, bum, or hips to speak of, legs that were like matchsticks, and my ribcage always visible.
I was totally and utterly ashamed of my body. I didn’t feel like a ‘woman’; even when I was a 12 or 13 year old girl, who realistically shouldn’t care about looking like a ‘woman’ yet. The problem was, in my year at school, it was filled with girls who were fully developed, and were developed into what societys ideal of a ‘perfect’ body was; slim but with curves, boobs, and a bum. Their uniform hung on them in a different way than it did to me. Their polo shirts clung to them, mine drowned me. Their skirts were tight and hugged them in the right places, mine hung down, not having anything to cling to.
I was about 14/15, and I started wearing padded bras, sometimes 2 at a time, because I desperately wanted to feel womanly and feminine, and not like a little girl anymore. I wondered how, when the time came, I’d ever be intimate with a boy, because when clothed I looked like a DD, but I was actually a AA.
I was set on the fact I was going to have a boob job the week I turned 18, and actually booked in to have consultations. I actually booked in to have one, but at the last minute I cancelled it because I’d just come out the other side of a bleeding disorder, and I was scared of having an invasive operation like that.
I put on a little bit of weight, but I was still extremely thin, and not very developed. I had hips, and a bit of a bum, but my chest was still pretty much completely flat, and I was mortified by it.
At aged 17, I was rushed to hospital with a chronic bleeding disorder, and one of the many treatments I had, was medical steroids, in huge doses. I was on 35 steroid tablets per day, and anyone who has been on them will know that a side effect is weight gain.
For the first time in my life, I gained weight, and kept it on. I’d struggled my whole life with eating and eating and eating, and then losing weight. I filled out a fair bit, and for once, it didn’t all fall off again.
My boobs grew, but only marginally…I’m a 32B, and I’ve come to accept it and be fine with it.
(Garden Royale knickers available here)
(Gala knickers available here)
One of the things that has really helped me in gaining body confidence, is beautiful underwear.
I know it may sound silly, but sometimes wearing something under your clothes that’s a little bit different, and more glamorous and vibrant, can make you feel entirely different when you step out the door each day.
When I was going through all my issues with how I perceived my body, I never wore pretty underwear. I didn’t ever want anyone to see me without my clothes on, so I didn’t see the point. In fact, I didn’t even want to see myself without clothes on; I’d hurriedly get dressed and undressed, as I was so ashamed of what was looking back at me in the mirror.
Scrumpies of Mayfair, are unlike any lingerie brand I’ve ever known. Each pair of knickers comes beautifully packaged, with a Scrumpies Charm; a gorgeous, bejeweled little charm that you can attach to your knickers, or to anything else you’d like (that sounds weird…I mean your keys, bag, etc!). They’re little keepsakes, that are each individual to the knickers that they come with. Normally, I’m not a lover of charms that are included when you buy something, but these are something else…embellished with crystals and in the most vibrant and gorgeous colours, I can’t wait to add mine to some of my handbags.
Getting underwear as a gift is always great I think, but let’s be honest, in most shops it’s folded up on a table, so there’s a limit to how nice it can look packaged. I feel like Scrumpies have completely changed the game when it comes to the presentation stakes.
They have kindly given me a discount code that you can use on anything on the Scrumpies website, which is BrightonGirl and will give you 15% off anything – also, be sure to check out their Black Friday sale which goes live this Thursday at midnight, and ends Sunday at Midnight.
As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been having a bit of a crap time lately, and been feeling really down about myself. Each day has been a bit of a struggle, and I’ve done the bare minimum for myself – eaten only when I have to, shoved the least amount of makeup on, worn the clothes that are within closest reach. It was actually really refreshing and nice to put these Scrumpies knickers on, and actually feel better about myself. I immediately felt better looking at myself in the mirror, and more accepting of everything that’s going on.
You’re allowed to feel down about yourself, and about life – it can be really hard for everyone at times. However I think everyone should have something that immediately lifts their mood, makes them feel like they have more of a purpose and feel more confident about themselves. Whether that’s putting on some lipstick, wearing a certain coat, or putting on some seriously amazing underwear in the morning, and therefore feeling like you’ve got it all together.
These knickers are the perfect gift for your girlfriend, wife, best friend, mum, sister, auntie…whoever it is, that may just need reminding that they are beautiful and amazing in their own way.
It can be really difficult being a woman, as there’s so many pressures in society and in the media to look a certain way, and be a certain way, and that if you don’t fit into those specific categories that you’re not good enough or beautiful enough or sexy enough; in actual fact, you are. Everyone is different, and everyone is perfect in their own right. I hated my body 10 years ago, but I’ve now got to a place where I’ve accepted that I am who I am, and I look the way I do, and that actually, that isn’t a bad thing.
After feeling that I was too thin, to at times then feeling like I was too big, I’m glad I’ve reached a place where most of the time, I accept my body for what it is, and that a good pair of knickers really can make me feel like I can conquer the world.
I hope that you liked this post, and if you’re feeling down about yourself and how you look, that it gave you a little bit of confidence that you might’ve been lacking.
You can look through all the different Scrumpies of Mayfair styles here, and as I said, code BrightonGirl gives you 15% off everything.
All my love BGP xx