Hi everyone, I hope you’re all well.
It’s dawned on me that I’ve been single almost a year; albeit I’ve dated during this time and seen different people (some of them can barely be called people…more strange creatures with absolutely no idea of how you’re meant to treat other human beings but there we go), no one has made it to boyfriend status, and with that, I’ve officially not been a girlfriend for nearly 12 months, something that hasn’t happened for years.
I was in two long term relationships back to back until last year. I split up with my ex and almost immediately met someone within a month. The timing wasn’t necessarily ideal but I’ve never been the type of person to say ‘right person, wrong time’, if I like someone I tend to just go for it, which looking back has potentially not been the best course of action.
There has been ups and downs throughout the last 12 months. There were low points, like Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve, surrounded by couples and festivities where I felt like I was on the outside looking in. All my cousins were bringing their partners to the Christmas party and yet again I was necking prosecco in the corner and watching my exes sisters Instagram stories.
New Year hit, as did the January blues where nobody goes out and you spend night after night on your own, eating Marks & Spencer’s ready meals and crying into a Sophie Kinsella novel.
However, there have been high points too; it’s been one of the best years of my life. I have dated around and had so much fun, made hilarious memories I’ll never forget and most importantly I’ve learned a lot about myself. You can’t eat what you want and not go to the gym or you will gain many stones; none of your friends want to go on one last ‘ironic’ holiday to Ayia Napa; and most importantly, I’ve learnt exactly what I do and don’t want.
When you’re in a relationship with someone your personalities kind of mould together and overlap and so it’s hard to think completely independently at times as you’re wrapped up in another person.
Being on my own for the last 10 months, has been the most necessary experience of my life. I needed it to happen, because my last two relationships were just jumbled up years of me desperately trying to make things work that were already broken, me putting 100% in and barely getting 10% back, changing myself repeatedly for a man and essentially being constantly stressed and putting myself under pressure to keep relationships going.
The men I have dated briefly during this time of being single have all taught me a lot. They’ve shown me exactly what I don’t want, what I do want, and what I won’t put up with. I’ve become more accepting of myself and realised that I deserve someone who is with me for exactly who I am, not an altered version of myself.
I finally feel like I’m in a place where if I met someone, or something started with someone who was right for me, that I’d be equipped to actually deal with shit and bad behaviour and them being disrespectful, and by that, I mean I wouldn’t deal with it and would be gone quicker than you can say Bridget Jones.
I hope you liked this little rambling post, I just wanted to shed some light on how being single can actually be an amazing thing if you look at it the right way.
All my love BGP xx